I love you

June 20, 2009
Good Sat. morning Nick,
Hi sweet son of mine, I miss you!!!
Today I am cleaning house, relaxing a bit and Greg has company. Him and Trisha are putting together a poster board of all their pictures of friends from the last day of school. Now, Journ and Greg are both at R.H.S. Unbelievable!!!
Lloyd, greg and Lars are trying to put a stereo system in the Diamonte. We are trying to use your Amp!!! I think it the amp is not working, but we are soon to find out. Greg has all but taken over my car at this point. That's all cool, cuz now I will just have to get your Fire Bird going.
Journey had her sleep over with cheer last night and is still sleeping.
As for me...Well, I'm doing better son. But I have to say, just looking back from the day I heard you were gone son, that was the DARKEST MOMENT in my life. I never knew that some of my darkest hours were yet to come, once the reality of everything settles in. Right when I think I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel Nick, I get a dose of reality and it throws me for a loop, and I spiral out of control with my thoughts once again. In those moments, I feel like I wont recover, and I ache to hold you, see you, love you again... I miss you so very much son, I miss you Nick, I miss you!!!
I know I will never get over you dieing, jsut writing that upsets me to no end. Never, never. I love you Nicholas, I love you so much son, all I can say is I love you and miss you.
I read your poems to Shelby again yesterday, and each time I read them I hear something knew. You said things to Shelby that I have said to you your whole life, like..."I love you to the end of the world and there is no end" and "No matter what I will always love you" and this one..."I love you way up to the sky and back again". I know you knew my love for you and you got it!!! It brings me great comfort today to know that.
I love you Nick, I will write you later. I love you more ~moma~