I Miss You

I miss you Nick, I will always miss you, and welcome the day that the good Lord reunites us all. I wonder all the time, as does Journey...what you are doing. I have thought about it with Nana, Greg, and others. it is so hard to imagine for anyone, because it is a "SPIRITUAL" world you live in now, and that is unknown to us earthlings, for sure. Like I told Journey, we don't and won't know what it is like until we are there!!! but I also told her that God does promise that there will be No more pain, No more tears, No more sorrow and No more dieing, now that is something to look forward to and to also rest in that peace knowing Nick is there, safe and free from all of lifes torments, pains, sorrow, fear and saddness. It was to say the least a very good talk between us. With knowing and believing all that God promises it still doesn't take away my longing for YOU or the pain of losing YOU. I must confess. I am YOUR Moma and I don't think those thoughts and feelings will ever leave me, until the day I hold you close once again, forever. I know you miss me too, I feel it, but you aren't sad. I know your soul is finally at peace, I know this for sure. As much pain as I have, I am greatful that you are at peace son. I will carry that burden if it means you are pain free and safe in heaven and free from all worries of the world. I miss you more than I can ever say...there are no words to discribe my heart, none. I miss you I love you more ~moma~

Hi My Beautiful Boy

Angel boy, I miss you and love you. I wrote you earlier today on your guest book and I am having a hard time keeping up with all this writing. I think I'm gonna stick to your guest book for writing everyday. I miss you son, I love you more. I'm gonna go to bed son it has been a long day. I miss you babe but I love you more ~Moma~

Sweet Dreams

I wanted to say Sweet Dreams, I miss you Nick and I love you more ~Moma~

NICHOLAS

Hi son,
Journey was sick again this morning and stayed home from school, I'm glad we have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Bradley, it will be good to talk to him about some things. Her tummy is so messed up Nick, I need to help her through all this she is struggling, she's having a hard time sleeping and concentrating at school right now. Greg is doing okay, but he too is having a hard time concentrating. They are both having a hard time getting to sleep. We all are. We are trying to help each other through this, it's gonna take some time, a lot of love and support. I miss you so much Nicholas James. Sometimes I feel like getting wasted just to not have to realize what my life is like right now without you, just drown all my sorrows and pain, and not feel a damn thing. Only I can't!!! I have to take care of the kids, but don't think I don't think about it all the time. I miss you babe, I love you more ~Moma~

One more kiss

Sweet boy,
just wanted to give you one more kiss and hug before going to bed, as you can see it didn't work earlier. I miss you son, I love you more and more everyday ~Moma~

Sweet Dreams Nick

Nicholas,
We miss you like crazy, and wanted to tell you so. We are watching Knight Rider. Journey and I have Dr. Appointments this Friday. I also got a no tabs ticket on our SUV, cause I haven't driven it since Oct. 23rd. So I hopped in it one day last month to go drop some gifts off at the post office and I got pulled over. I was taken off guard and had no clue they were expired, I would have never taken it. My car battery was was dead, I left the lights on all night. Anyway, I have to go to court on Feb 4th of all days huh!!!
I will write you in the morning. I miss you so very much son, I love you more~Moma~

Morning Son

Nicholas,
I miss you always. Taking the kids to school this morning. I miss you more and more and more and more and more and more everyday, I love you more ~Moma~

NICHOLAS

I miss you son, I love you more ~Moma~

Sweet Dreams

Hi Baby,

I miss you more and more everyday!!!! I miss you ALL DAY, ALL THE TIME, EVERYDAY!!! I am the only one awake...AGAIN!!! I miss you so much. I want to hold you babe and never let you go, ever. I want to talk to you, love you, see you, hear you, touch you, hold you. I want you so bad son. I looked at a lot of your pictures today son, and you are so incredibly handsome, so handsome. I wanted to see you grow up some more, I wanted to see how fine you were when you were 30 and 35 and 40!!! Damn-it!!! No more "new" pictures, no more "new" memories. I am so sad about that and mad about that. I'm mad at so many people right now!!! Fuck them!! I'm gonna say "Sweet Dreams" my boy Nick, I miss you. I know you were 25 years old, that society say's your a "man", but!!!!"YOU" NICHOLAS JAMES DEVINE WILL ALWAYS BE..... "MY BOY". Night sweet son, I miss you I love you more ~Moma~

Blue without You, son.

I am Blue this morning son, I woke up that way, these are the hardest days, I just cry all day long and it won't stop. I took Journey to school this morning, and watched the sun rise up over the hill. It was so beautiful, and I saw "you" in it today. I miss you so much Nick. You are all that I think about. I miss you son, I miss you. It has been over 3 months since I last saw you and I ache to hold my boy, my handsome Nick. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I love you more and more~Moma~

Nicholas, Sweet dreams

My Love Nick,
I love you baby and miss you like crazy, If I keep my head about this I will be surprised at myself. I just don't know how I can do this. I know there are tons of people who are going through extreme pain and suffering, but this is the worst thing that could ever happen in my life, I cannot imagine my life WITHOUT YOU. I cry everyday all throughout the day,. I look at your picture and see how much you loved "Life", and know that your actions were very very brave and courageous!!!! I don't know a braver soul. For someone who loved life so much, it had to be extremely difficult for you to live with such confliction in your heart and mind. I only wish I could have held you tight that night and loved you through it. I would have if i could have been there!!! I miss you so much it hurts babe, I love you so much that it hurts too. I miss my boy, I love you more son~Moma~

Nicholas, sweet Nicholas

I miss you so freaking much Nick, my heart aches so bad for you, I love you more ~moma~

Hi My Beautiful Boy

Nicholas James Devine...I miss you, I miss you, I miss you like the desert misses the rain. I long to see, hug, touch, feel you again. My heart is full of my love for you and your love for me. You are always with me babe, always, I miss your hugs and your voice, I miss everything about you. I love you more and more~Moma~

Mr. Nick Devine

It's your Moma and I wanted to tell you"Sweet Dreams" my lovely son, I miss you I love you more ~ Moma ~