Hi Babe, You always had so much fun in your jeep...this is just proof. You were an amazing driver, bike rider, snow boarder, skate boarder, baseball player, and martial arts champ. you always excelled in everything you did, and you had fun doing it. You are an amazing athlete. I am so proud of you son, I know you were proud of your accomplishments too, it showed in your smile. I miss you so very much son, I love you more ~Moma~

My sweet Nick

Hi sweet son,
I miss you so much sweetheart, I love you more ~Moma~

Morning son, Hi sweetheart. Even though it is 2 in the afternoon, it is morning for me. We all slept in today. I got up earlier about 8 because your sissy was getting sick, it was unexpected she was fine last night. So I had to call Melissa and ask her to come early to get the girls so I could take care of sis. She's feeling a little better now, but her tummy still hurts so we both just layed down and went back to sleep til now. Anyway, Mel came and got the girls. She's a good Moma and she has her hands full. So Mel and I were running errands esterday and your small picture frame fell off the magnetic chain hanging from my rearview mirror, so I stopped and Mel and I were trying to find it, all the sudden Mel finds it in the door pocket of the passenger side of my car. She takes it and pulls the feather out just as I am saying don't take the feather out. But it was too late, she thought something was stuck on it...she didn't know it was put there. You know the feather you gave me when I was standing at the post office a few weeks ago!!! So, we head off over to Target, and she goes in for a minute and comes out and she has this wierd look on her face like she just saw a ghost or something. She tells me this story about how she found this T-shirt that say's I love (with a heart) NICK. She pulls it out of the bag and sure enough, it was the only one there and it was Zoe's size. What a great new years gift especially for Zoe, Nick that was awesome. I love you babe, you still somehow manage to be so directly involved in all of our lives. So, here we are son, the beginning of another year 2009. I would have never thought in a million years that youwould not be here today with us the bring in the new year. I had so many hopes and dreams for you. I wanted to try and help see you through to a new year and help you and Jess work on looking ahead together about new dreams and new beginnings, for all of us. Then my worse nightmare became a reality. Poof!!!In a heartbeat, you were gone. When you left on Oct. 9th to go to Ca. I didn't want you to go, but I fully intended on seeing you again. I felt very uneasy about you going, I had reservations. You and I were also supossed to go see Dr. Bradley on the 16th and you were still gonna be in Ca. So, that upset me a bit because I was hoping we could go back again and talk with him about the next step for you, so you could start moving ahead. I want to rewind my life back to Oct 9th when I drove you to the airport that morning with your Dad. I never thought that wold be out last embrace. I am greatful for it and shall never forget it, yet it is ironic. That is where you made me get out of my car so you could hug me fully. I am so greatful you asked me to get out and that we hugged so tight. I watched you go toward the airpot and you turned back to see me waiting to give you the sign language "I love You" sign. We exchanged "I love yous" and a smile, then you were gone. Thank you son for all you gave me, for being such a wonderful baby, a beautiful boy, and an amazing son to me. We always had an amazing bond, sometimes we bickered about things but I know that is because we are both strong headed and very much alike in many ways. I miss you so much son, but I love you more ~Moma~

Happy New Year

Hi son,
Just wanted to say "SWEET DREAMS" I miss you this new year, another year, wish you were here, I love you more ~Moma~

Nicholas

Hi babe. Been helping Melissa today, we are running errands and went to visit ShelbyPaige and you, to say Happy New Year, sounds kinda crazy to say that at this time in my life and yet if you were here I know we would be celebrating the New Year together, lighting off fire works, banging pots and pans, and having a family party. We have the girls for the night, but we will still bang pots and pans because that is our family tradition. Greg has a few friends over too. It is the strangest new years yet, it feels very empty and lonely without you here. I miss you so very much my sweet Nick, I'll be here at midnight to say hello, I love you more ~Moma~

My Nicholas

Hi sweet son,
It is another day without you in my life. I miss you like there is no tomorrow. I wanted to say hi before going over to Melissa's. Journey is gonna watch the girls tonight while Melissa goes to see a few friends. So, we'll have them tonight, it'll be fun. I'm also helping Journey put together a hand sown quilt she is making in Home and Family for school. I'm trying to get through my days, it is so hard without you. I still can't believe you have flown away my Beautiful Angel boy, I miss you like never before, I love you more ~Moma~

Sweet Dreams

Wanted to say "Sweet Dreams" my sweet Nicholas. I made tacos for dinner tonight. First time I've cooked since you flew away. I thought about you the entire time I was in the kitchen. i know how much you loved my tacos and my cooking in general son. I miss cooking for you, I miss you coming over asking what I got to eat, and watching you eat enough food for 3 people. I miss you so much babe, sweet dreams honey, I love you more,~moma~

Missing you, loving you more

Just adding photos reminising, trippin, and going down memory lane. This is so freaking hard to do, I hate this part but it is keeping me busy with all that is in my heart and head. I guess it is what I need to do today for the moment. I miss you son, I love you more~Moma~

COUSINS Brandon and Nick age 5 How cute

Nick and Moma Age 16 Good Times

Nick and ShelbyPaige Now in Heaven together

Nick and Moma Dalton lake Nick was 14

More great memories spent with you my sweet son, I miss you so very much, love you more~Moma~

Hi my son, just wanted to add a photo of you and me. Some sweet memories here. I miss you so much I love you more~moma~

My Beautiful Son

Hi sweet son,
I miss you honey. Today is a sleepy day. The kids and I slept most of it away. Zoe stayed the night with us, we love her so much she's a great girl. I know how much you loved her too and how special you are to her, she misses you too like crazy.
I had a hard time geting to sleep last night, in fact I didn't fall asleep until 5am. I slept a lot today. I don't mind it, cause when I sleep I don't have to think about you being gone and missing you. I don't like that I missed time spent with the kids. I miss you so much son, I will never get over missing you, never. I don't know how one heart can take so much pain, stress, saddness and grief and still beat without faltering. I swear the saying of "died of a broken heart" means something different to me. I think I understand it more. They say when someone has been married for many years and one of them dies the other one will go soon, because they die of "A broken heart". I have been with you for 25 years and suddenly you are gone, I know this is what it feels like to think your dieing of a broken heart. I believe it is the deep yearning for your loved one, especially a Moma longing for her child, I don't think there is a greater longing or loss. I miss you with a great saddnedd and deep passion and all I ever want is YOU!!!
I need to get dinner going for us babe. I wish you were coming to dinner, how I miss that and will in the years to come. You are always on my mind, I miss you son, I love you more~Moma~

Sweet Dreams

Hi Son,
It's been 6 months today already since our sweet baby Shelbypaige has been gone. You went to be with her now just a little over 2 months. it feels like an eternity since I saw your face or heard your voice, and yet it seems like yesterday that we talked. I don't know how to explain it, it is all too wierd and painful to grasp. All I know is I miss you greatly. Journey, Zoe and I are watching a movie, they are having a sleep over. I wanted to say "sweet dreams" son, before I head off to bed. I think about you every minute of the day. Your family and friends miss you so much, Greg and Journey talk about you all the time, Journey cries with Moma and we give each other lots of hugs. I miss you so much my handsome Nick, sweet dreams babe, I love you more ~Moma~

Hi Son

This is my first entry to your blog. It is Monday night Dec, 29th about 9 pm, Jess, Melissa, Zoe, and Rowan are visiting. Darrell is spending the night too, we all went to Olive Garden then came over here. Melissa showed me how to create a Blog especially for you son. I miss you so much, I miss you so much it hurts. I'll be back to say sweet dreams honey before I go to bed. I miss you, I love you more~Moma~