***Sweet Dreams***

Your third Christmas with Jesus Nicholas...I know you are safe I know you are not in pain, I know I will see you again sweet son.

***My Dearest Nicholas***

Today I miss you probably worse than any other day, except for your Birthday, Mother's Day and my birthday!!!

Christmas was always about Jesus and His love for us, but it was also about giving gifts to my children and seeing thier faces light up as they were surprised by all the wonderful they received on Christmas Day. God how I miss the enjoyment of shopping, the fun in wrapping the gifts, the saound of your voice and laughter on Christmas Morning, and all the memories and pictures we would take each year. I miss seeing you grow, watching you change, into a more beautiful man thean you already were! I miss your hugs and "hello pretty Moma" on Christmas morning, I miss seeing your beautiful face, I miss you hugging me. I miss you playing with your little brother and sister, and helping them put thier new toys and things together to make them work. I miss having you at the dinner table with us and watching you eat like you were eating for an army:)

I am cooking dinner this year though, all of it, I'm going all out. I will have a place for you at the table son, you will be here in spirit if not at all.

I miss you so much today it hurts!!!

Lloyd and the kids went to Gr, Pielstick's of course. I stayed back to finish cooking our Christmas dinner. I do not feel like putting on a FAKE-FACE or pretending to smile just to please or appease ANYONE!!! Truth is, I am sad and missing you and choose not to share my grief with them. It is such a private personal pain I feel losing you son, and they do not understand my heartache!!!

I love you more than words can say, and I miss you beyond explaination!!!

I will write you later my son. I just wanted to send you hugs and kisses today. Please give Nana, Greg, ShelbyPaige, and the rest of our family hugs from Moma. Tell Jesus I said Happy Birthday and even though I don't act like it sometimes, I do love Him.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you....I love you more, forevermore,

Moma~

***Merry Christmas Eve Son***

Nicholas,
Moma misses you so much, here we are again, Christmastime, UGH!!! I love you so much son, and I hurt so much tonight missing you:(

I will write you tomorrow son, I love you more Moma~

***Nick Nick***

Geeze son, It will be Christmas in 2 days, and It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. It is always a hard time this time of year, nothing is the same and especially major holidays. They don't have the same joy or meaning anymore. I do hope that changes, as I love Christmas, but not since you died son

I am so sad without you here, I do pray I can live again with joy, and be a good Moma and be good to myself again. I feel like I have aged 20 years in the last 2, I've gained weight cuz I don't eat right, and I don't sllep very well. I still smoke and now I drink, I am self-destructing. I want to be well again, God help me.
I miss you so much Nicholas, I love you more Moma~

******Forevermore******I Love You******

There Is No GOD?

Thereis no God? All of the wonders around us are accidental? No All


mighty hand made a thousand billion stars, they made themselves? No power kept them on thear steady course? The earth spins itself to keep the oceans from falling off toward the sun? Infants teach themselves to cry when they are hungry or hurt? A small flower invented itself so that we could extract digitalis for sick hearts?


The earth gave itself day and night, and tilted itself so we get 4 different seasons? Without the magnetic poles man would be able to navigate the trackless oceans of water and air, but they just grew there?


How about the sugar thermostat in the pancreas? It maintains a level of sugar in the blood sufficient for energy, without it, all of us would fall into a coma and die!!!


Why does snow sit on the mountain tops waiting for the warm spring sun to melt it at just the right time for the young crops below to drink? A very lovely accident!!!


The human heart will beat 70 to 80 years without faltering. How does it get sufficient rest inbetween beats? A kidney will filter poison from the blood and leave the good things alone. How does it know one from the other?


Who gave the human tongue flexibility to form words, and a brain to understand them, yet deied it to all other animals?


Who showed a womb how to take the love of two persons and keep on splitting a tiny ovum until, in time, a baby would have the proper number of fingers, eyes, and ears, and hair in the right places, and come into the world when it is strong enough to sustain life???

There Is No GOD???


Author Unknown: Taken from a Readers Digest in middle-late 1980's!