July 04, 2009
Hi Son,I miss you.
I know how others say they miss you, but I KNOW NO-ONE misses you more or as much and never could or ever will, as much as I do, I'm your MOMA and your my beautiful son, dead or alive.
I don't want to talk about your ceremony Fri or anything about it. I simply love you babe and miss you like crazy.
Today and tonight will be very hard. But guess what Nick? I am telling your little brother today, it is official Greg. You are now our "Firework Show" man. I hand the torch off to you son and Nick would be proud and he taught you everything you know about fireworks and will do a great job.It should be you Nick, it just should be you!!! But I know greg will wear that badge with great pride and honor Nick!! He loves doing what you guys and we have done for years on the 4th. making crazy fireworks, having a big party and having a blast. Modifying them was so much fun. I remember when you were like 11, 12, 13 you and Lloyd would be out in the garage for hours getting stuff ready for the 4th. He taught you a lot and in turn you taught Greg. You guys had the best fireworks...Every year, they got cooler and cooler. You were the bomb Nick, you were the bomb!!!I will ALWAYS love you and MISS you my sweet boy.
Moma will write you later son, I wish you were here, I wish you were here!
I love you more ~moma~
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Hi My Nick
Hi sweet boy,
I miss you Nicholas :( :(
HAPPY 4th of JULY Nick.
Even though the date say's it's the 4th of July it really is just only after midnight. First one without you here with us, I can't stop thinking about all the amazing 4th parties we have had and most of them Nick were because you made the show AWESOME!!! and all your friends and all our family and friends got together and have a wonderful night.
Well, it has been some kind of day today. It was sad, happy, fun, and a lot lonely without you.
I will write in the morning son after I have had some rest, i haven't slept very good the last couple days!
Your dedication was beautiful and it was beautiful outside today too.
I miss you so fucking much! I'm having a hard time babe.....
I miss you so much that I don't know what to do with it......
I love you more ~moma~
I miss you Nicholas :( :(
HAPPY 4th of JULY Nick.
Even though the date say's it's the 4th of July it really is just only after midnight. First one without you here with us, I can't stop thinking about all the amazing 4th parties we have had and most of them Nick were because you made the show AWESOME!!! and all your friends and all our family and friends got together and have a wonderful night.
Well, it has been some kind of day today. It was sad, happy, fun, and a lot lonely without you.
I will write in the morning son after I have had some rest, i haven't slept very good the last couple days!
Your dedication was beautiful and it was beautiful outside today too.
I miss you so fucking much! I'm having a hard time babe.....
I miss you so much that I don't know what to do with it......
I love you more ~moma~
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Hi Nicholas
Hi sweet boy,
You will always be "my boy" Nick, even though you were a man, no matter what, not even death changes that! I miss you son. I want to say "sweet dreams son. I love you babe and I miss you very much. You are always on my mind, in my heart Nick! I love you more ~moma~
You will always be "my boy" Nick, even though you were a man, no matter what, not even death changes that! I miss you son. I want to say "sweet dreams son. I love you babe and I miss you very much. You are always on my mind, in my heart Nick! I love you more ~moma~
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Hi Son
Hi sweet boy, I love you!!!
Your Marker came in today...UGH!!! wow, it all of the sudden hit me square in the face, it is written in stone son, you are gone. I barffed and barffed at the site of YOUR name MY SON'S name on that headstone. Oh my goodness Nick. Bittersweet for sure. Bitter because it is YOUR name on it, sweet because they did such a beautiful job with it.
We are dedicating it fri. morning at 11 son, it will be another rough one. I love you so much my boy, I miss you so much too.
I will write you later son. I love you more ~moma~
Your Marker came in today...UGH!!! wow, it all of the sudden hit me square in the face, it is written in stone son, you are gone. I barffed and barffed at the site of YOUR name MY SON'S name on that headstone. Oh my goodness Nick. Bittersweet for sure. Bitter because it is YOUR name on it, sweet because they did such a beautiful job with it.
We are dedicating it fri. morning at 11 son, it will be another rough one. I love you so much my boy, I miss you so much too.
I will write you later son. I love you more ~moma~
Good Morning Son
Hi my sweet boy, I miss you!
Today I'm gonna take Greg to Grandpa's to do some more trimming on their bushes, and to mow the lawn. He's earning extra money this summer for his car and stereo. He can also buy some fire works for the 4th. We were going to the beach but Staci cancelled the plan, and they were her friends we were going to meet at the beach. She had a family emergency. It sucks, but I don't want to go unless she will be there too. Oh well, next time.
When we come to Cali, we can go to the beach then. I know Joyce will want to go too and take her Gr. daughter's with us. I would like to take them to Marine World too. I took you there Nick when you were 16 years old. We met your God parents there, Uncle Harry and Aunt Denise, and your cousins, Amelia, Giavanni and Kyle. Your Aunt Kelly was there too. We had a lot of fun that day. But your Nana ended up passing away that next week after father's day. this was terrible, because everyone thought Nana would be okay, but she didn't make it through the surgery.
I love you Nicholas and miss you beyond imagination. my heart will never be the same again Nick, how could it???
I will write you later son. Your brother and sissy miss you like crazy too. They talk about you a lot more than even a couple months ago, which is great especially for Greg as he is more private with his emotions but has no problem showing them in his own time and when he feels it is safe. He has alway shared with me and our immediate family, but i can see that he is a little more relaxed about it.
We just miss Our Nick...I love you my boy, I love you more ~moma~
Today I'm gonna take Greg to Grandpa's to do some more trimming on their bushes, and to mow the lawn. He's earning extra money this summer for his car and stereo. He can also buy some fire works for the 4th. We were going to the beach but Staci cancelled the plan, and they were her friends we were going to meet at the beach. She had a family emergency. It sucks, but I don't want to go unless she will be there too. Oh well, next time.
When we come to Cali, we can go to the beach then. I know Joyce will want to go too and take her Gr. daughter's with us. I would like to take them to Marine World too. I took you there Nick when you were 16 years old. We met your God parents there, Uncle Harry and Aunt Denise, and your cousins, Amelia, Giavanni and Kyle. Your Aunt Kelly was there too. We had a lot of fun that day. But your Nana ended up passing away that next week after father's day. this was terrible, because everyone thought Nana would be okay, but she didn't make it through the surgery.
I love you Nicholas and miss you beyond imagination. my heart will never be the same again Nick, how could it???
I will write you later son. Your brother and sissy miss you like crazy too. They talk about you a lot more than even a couple months ago, which is great especially for Greg as he is more private with his emotions but has no problem showing them in his own time and when he feels it is safe. He has alway shared with me and our immediate family, but i can see that he is a little more relaxed about it.
We just miss Our Nick...I love you my boy, I love you more ~moma~
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I miss you Nick
June 30, 2009
Hi my Nick,
Today is another day, how do I keep making it through them day after day...I dunno!!!
All I really know is that I miss you and Love you always.
I wanted to tell you all about last night son. I packed up the picnic basket you bought me for Mother's Day 2 years ago babe and went and had a candle light dinner with you and Shelby. I brought a beautiful candle and goodies. We had Tootsie Rolls, Otter Pops, and Fresh picked Cherries, and I brought Shelby a Smiley face pinwheel too!! Journey came with me and her friend Ashland we were there about an hour. It was hard but I had to do it. We laughed and cried and laughed and cried. We just miss you both so much. I love you my Precious Shelby Bear.
This Thurs. or Fri morning we will Dedicate your Memorial marker son. It will be a very, very hard day for us Nick Ugh!! Maybe this will help moma lay to rest a little more that day.
We will dedicate it, spread some of your ashes, have prayer, and release balloons in your honor son. We will have lots of tears for you my Precious Nick!!! I don't want to do this, but I have to. Just your moma, dad, lloyd and your brothers and sister and jess will be there, it will be a private ceremony.
I'm kind of numb with my feelings today and yet I feel everything. I miss you son.
I am planning to go to Cali. very soon. I have to pick up something important. I hope to visit the beach, the zoo, friends, and family for about a week, I will stay with Joyce and Auntie. I really need to get away for a bit. A long drive will be good in itself. I will make the time to stop at Mt. Shasta with G&J and go to the place where jess and I spread some of your ashes and show then where we were. I will take them to the rock where we carved your name and ours back in Oct, on our way home. It will be clear on top the Mt. this time of year. It is a beautiful Mt. you chose son. On a clear day you can see for miles and miles.
I love you so much and wish you were here with moma. i miss you terribly.
I will write you later son. I miss you something fierce within me.
I will be concenrating on writing on your blog from now on as I want only one place to go, but I will still write from time to time on GB and so will others until Nov.9th. Lots of peeps still write, it warms my heart. You were so loved Nick by so many, undoubtidly! OMG, you had a way about you that people couldn't forget you even if they only met you once. :)
I love you my Nicholas James Devine, I love you more ~moma~
Hi my Nick,
Today is another day, how do I keep making it through them day after day...I dunno!!!
All I really know is that I miss you and Love you always.
I wanted to tell you all about last night son. I packed up the picnic basket you bought me for Mother's Day 2 years ago babe and went and had a candle light dinner with you and Shelby. I brought a beautiful candle and goodies. We had Tootsie Rolls, Otter Pops, and Fresh picked Cherries, and I brought Shelby a Smiley face pinwheel too!! Journey came with me and her friend Ashland we were there about an hour. It was hard but I had to do it. We laughed and cried and laughed and cried. We just miss you both so much. I love you my Precious Shelby Bear.
This Thurs. or Fri morning we will Dedicate your Memorial marker son. It will be a very, very hard day for us Nick Ugh!! Maybe this will help moma lay to rest a little more that day.
We will dedicate it, spread some of your ashes, have prayer, and release balloons in your honor son. We will have lots of tears for you my Precious Nick!!! I don't want to do this, but I have to. Just your moma, dad, lloyd and your brothers and sister and jess will be there, it will be a private ceremony.
I'm kind of numb with my feelings today and yet I feel everything. I miss you son.
I am planning to go to Cali. very soon. I have to pick up something important. I hope to visit the beach, the zoo, friends, and family for about a week, I will stay with Joyce and Auntie. I really need to get away for a bit. A long drive will be good in itself. I will make the time to stop at Mt. Shasta with G&J and go to the place where jess and I spread some of your ashes and show then where we were. I will take them to the rock where we carved your name and ours back in Oct, on our way home. It will be clear on top the Mt. this time of year. It is a beautiful Mt. you chose son. On a clear day you can see for miles and miles.
I love you so much and wish you were here with moma. i miss you terribly.
I will write you later son. I miss you something fierce within me.
I will be concenrating on writing on your blog from now on as I want only one place to go, but I will still write from time to time on GB and so will others until Nov.9th. Lots of peeps still write, it warms my heart. You were so loved Nick by so many, undoubtidly! OMG, you had a way about you that people couldn't forget you even if they only met you once. :)
I love you my Nicholas James Devine, I love you more ~moma~
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