I miss you Nick

June 30, 2009
Hi my Nick,
Today is another day, how do I keep making it through them day after day...I dunno!!!
All I really know is that I miss you and Love you always.
I wanted to tell you all about last night son. I packed up the picnic basket you bought me for Mother's Day 2 years ago babe and went and had a candle light dinner with you and Shelby. I brought a beautiful candle and goodies. We had Tootsie Rolls, Otter Pops, and Fresh picked Cherries, and I brought Shelby a Smiley face pinwheel too!! Journey came with me and her friend Ashland we were there about an hour. It was hard but I had to do it. We laughed and cried and laughed and cried. We just miss you both so much. I love you my Precious Shelby Bear.
This Thurs. or Fri morning we will Dedicate your Memorial marker son. It will be a very, very hard day for us Nick Ugh!! Maybe this will help moma lay to rest a little more that day.
We will dedicate it, spread some of your ashes, have prayer, and release balloons in your honor son. We will have lots of tears for you my Precious Nick!!! I don't want to do this, but I have to. Just your moma, dad, lloyd and your brothers and sister and jess will be there, it will be a private ceremony.
I'm kind of numb with my feelings today and yet I feel everything. I miss you son.
I am planning to go to Cali. very soon. I have to pick up something important. I hope to visit the beach, the zoo, friends, and family for about a week, I will stay with Joyce and Auntie. I really need to get away for a bit. A long drive will be good in itself. I will make the time to stop at Mt. Shasta with G&J and go to the place where jess and I spread some of your ashes and show then where we were. I will take them to the rock where we carved your name and ours back in Oct, on our way home. It will be clear on top the Mt. this time of year. It is a beautiful Mt. you chose son. On a clear day you can see for miles and miles.
I love you so much and wish you were here with moma. i miss you terribly.
I will write you later son. I miss you something fierce within me.
I will be concenrating on writing on your blog from now on as I want only one place to go, but I will still write from time to time on GB and so will others until Nov.9th. Lots of peeps still write, it warms my heart. You were so loved Nick by so many, undoubtidly! OMG, you had a way about you that people couldn't forget you even if they only met you once. :)
I love you my Nicholas James Devine, I love you more ~moma~