Good Morning Son

I luv you my sweet Nick,
Just saying good morning babe before I scoot off to work. I miss you my son, with all that I am or ever will be. You are loved and missed so very much....by us all. I will write you later my son.
I luv you more ~ Moma~

Happy 4th of July Nicholas James

Well son it's the 4th of July...again!!! Another one without you! How am I gonna keep doing this?! Celebrating holidays without you! I miss you so much Everyday, and the holidays make it worse! Especially the ones our family celebrated big. This was one of then. They seem so different now! No ones around, people are far away, some are gone, and there doesn't seem to be the excitement or passion that was once there. As a family we will still celebrate you and your love, but our family has suffered much, losing both you and Shelby!!! I still don't understand what happened!!! I hate hate hate what happened, in all it's insanity and beauty. Beauty that you were both born and I experienced your love and hers. Insanity because in an instant, then another our lives were altered...forever with a great sadness and pain that will linger on forever! You should both be here, god how I wish for you to both be here with me! I miss you so much Nick:( I miss what could have been with Shelby! I miss your previous family!!! I don't understand why! Why why why??? I think I will ask that question until the day meet God, them I shall know. Until then, I must try to learn everyday, how to live with "It".
I'm not sure what the kids and I are doing tonite for the 4th. I have work in the morning, so I won't be up too late! Work is going good son. I just keep trying to push myself through another day, and focus on the positive, the good, and the lovely. I remember to count my blessings and thank God for them. I tell Him daily,y concerns, my heart and my anger! He knows it all anyway, and still loves me. I love you Nick Nick with a passion so great!!!
I will write you later my Brautiful Boy!
I luv u more ~ Moma~