I love you baby and miss you so very much always, always and always. It is so cold outside, no snow yet today but it is predicted, Ugh!!! I just want it to be warm again, sunshine and more sunshine. I want my SON shine back, I always want you back every second of every day!!! I still don't want to believe you are gone Nick! I believe every moma who's child has gone to heaven thinks that way, we as moma's cannot fathom that loss in our hearts we cannot reconcile it, we cannot allow our hearts to fully process that reality!!! It is too much pain, much too painful to ACCEPT. I try everyday to accept it the best I can, but all I do is CRY, and say to myself, NO, NO, NO!!! you can't be gone, and yet my heart knows all too well, I miss you beyond reason, because you are not here. I miss you son, I miss you so much. The pain is always here with me of losing you. I think about you when I am happy, I think about you when I am sad. I think about you always...my mind and heart wonder off to you and I stay for hours at times. I just want you back....I will always want you back. I am having a hard day today son...they still come and haunt me...Bad days. They will never stop as long as I live, for my heart is broken, and empty without you. Greg and Journey fill it up with their love, but NOTHING or NO-ONE can ever replace or fill the space in my heart that will always belong to YOU my Beautiful Boy. I miss you and I love you more, more, more....always missing you, forever missing you. My hope and sanity for today is, I KNOW one day I WILL see you forever!!! Kisses to you my sweet son, BIG HUGS and lots of love babe. I miss you more, I love you more,
