***I Am Alive***

I am Alive



I am alive...I may have lost my brother, my sister, my parent, my child, my friend, but I am a survivor of the long dark night of unspeakable loss, the unbearable pain, of my own darkness...and I am alive.


I am unwilling to stand idly by and allow shame to defeat love, or silence to defeat action. I stand for the enlightenment of a society that would hide from suicide, that would avoid, that would pretend...and I am alive...




I am unwilling for my perseverance to be in vain, unwilling for the passing of my loved one to be in shame. I loved them more than I loved myself and their life will have meaning in my action.


I am resolved and I am alive...in a world blinded by pursuit of pleasure, I am here to say that people are in pain. In a world rushing to get ahead, I am hear to say that people are being left behind. In a world obsessed with the value of the market, I am here to speak for the value of life and I am alive...


This will be no quite fight fight, for I am the voice of audacity in the face of apathy. I am the spirit of bravery in a world of action.


I am a commitment to action in the face of neutrality. I am out of the darkness...I am into the light and I...I am alive.


*****I LOVE YOU SON, ALWAYS IN MY HEART*****

 ~ Jeff Shuck, August 17, 2002 (read at a "Walk Out Of Darkness").

"A Diamond in the Rough"

"A Diamond in the Rough"



Inspired by "one" who is many...


I welcome each one who enters here with a peaceful mwah (wind kiss) and bid you farwell upon your exodus.


May your whole being open wide to the currents of Love and Light, allow them to gently flow in, linger, then welcome thear farwell.


Twilight loomed and was upon her like a haunting shadow waiting in secrecy. She wrestles the arrows of sorrow that pierce her sleep. She pines for what was, dieing a little more in her restless dreams, again and again. Many were the moons and minutes stolen away by these stinging weapons.


As the cosmos would have it, somewhere between R.E.M. and slumber the companions of doom vaporized. She was keenly aware that she was released from a deteriorating exsistence that threatened to take up permanant residence in her soul, or altogether steal her away like a force she have never known. A force that desired to tear her apart and swallow her cpmplete.


But her words can only scan the surface in describing such power. Instantly she denys the evil that insists on pumping it's venomous blood through her viens, the blood of death. She will not allow it to rape her of one more breath. At once she ceased choking on the remnants of yesterdays plight.


The morning wind carressed her bosom and whispered, I am here, come, come away with me my precious Jewel. With each tender stroke she was drawn to him with the promise she would know the depths and dimensions of her true exsistance. His presence mezmerized her as she collapsed in desperation, and fell into his open palms. Her escape from eminent doom was here.


She was thirsty now, for the river of LIFE once again. she resisted the urgency to drink quickly from the waters of life, as he reminds her that in due time all things are revealed, and this is a life of plenty. Slowly she drinks, replemishing every fiber of my being. His whisper is warm and merciful, guiding her on the waves of unchartered waters. Open your yourself, he humbly resites, and know that you lack in nothing, For truly you now possess everything that shall sustain you for eternity. He sequesters her momentarily and bravely announces, within, there is clairity and contentment that will satisfy the shouts that scream, more, more, more, command them to come forth. You need not to forget your past, only the echos of evil, that are less than truthful. Embrace your knowledge and all in its wake, let it's meshing unravel, to expose in purest form, the canvas of your soul. Hate No-One and No-thing, the darkness that imprisoned you into the black abyss, was burned up by the ricochets of your illuminating light. Your supply of energy will sustain you the like magnetic poles, that secure the planets in orbit, never to be off course or disconnected, or swallowed up by unrelenting guile again. A magnificent display of love is born into the vastness of her glorious form. One with peace and her gallant lover is the moon. He reaches for her, loves her, and delights in all her beauty. He whispers to her you are no longer an unpolished black stone tossed and lost in an endless sea of many, but visably a rare gem, pure, transparent and brilliant. A "Diamond in the Rough" has emerged, and With carful attention, she will forever shine, she will not be denied. Gentle wisdom will never abandon her.

Nightfall is upon her with pristine entention, she knows him and does not fear his arrival. She closes her eyes and feels his breath upon her cheek. She knows, she is beautiful, a beautiful "Diamond in the thr Rough", and knows he is there to kiss her good night, and he does. She drifts into the quiet night, he gazes at her silloutte, he knows he is her lover.

****I will ALWAYS love you***

***I Miss You Nick***

*Who You'd Be Today"*

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

I feel you everywhere I go.

I see your smile, I see your face,

I hear you laughin' in the rain.

I still can't believe you're gone.


It ain't fair: you died too young,

Like the story that had just begun,

But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,

All the hell that I've been through,

Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonder,

Who'd you be today?


Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?

Settle down with a family,

I wonder what would you name your babies?

Some days the sky's so blue,

I feel like I can talk to you,

An' I know it might sound crazy.


It ain't fair: you died too young,

Like the story that had just begun,

But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,

All the hell that I've been through,

Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonder,

Who you'd be today?


Today, today, today.

Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

The only thing that gives me hope,

Is I know I'll see you again some day.


Some day, some day, some day.

{ song by Kenny Chesney }

I love you Son

He is Gone




You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close our eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you could do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU....Forever in my heart Son, I love you more Moma~