Nicholas James

My Sweet Son, Nicholas:

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Fly
Sung by Celine Dion

I love you Nick

Hi Sweet boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, I wish you were here.......
I cannot tell you how many times i tried to talk to you and you weren't here and how hurtful it is E" you aren't here!!!!! Shit!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg i can hardly take it!!!! I hope I make it to my next session!!!!
I MISS YOU SO MUCH NICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST LOVE AND MISS YOU SON SOOOOO MUCH ~moma~ Your so freaking handsome

I MISS YOU SWEET NICK, I MISS YOU SO MUCH SON. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU..... You are Always on my mind, You will Always be deep within my heart...FOREVER Nick Nick!!!I shall NEVER stop loving you!!!
I am sending you huge hugs my boy, lots of moma kisses and every ounce of my love.
I MISS you so much Nicholas James...it hurts so bad.
I love you more `Moma~

I miss you sweet son

I love you more ~moma~

NICHOLAS JAMES...YOU ARE FORGIVEN SON.

I LOVE YOU MORE ~moma~

"Who You'd Be Today"

Sunny days seem to hurt the most,
I wear the pain like a heavy coat,
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughing in the rain,
I still can't believe your gone.
It ain't fair you died too young,
Like a story that had just begun,
But death tore pages all away,
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one can take your place,
Sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today.
Would you see the world? would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair you died too young,
Like a story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away,
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one can take your place,
Sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today,
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most,
I wear the pain like a heavy coat,
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know, I'll see you again some day.
Someday, someday.
I love you so much Nicholas James...
I love you more ~moma~

Hi Baby

I missed writing you yesterday:(
I love you sweet son. I talked about you with about 5 different people though, it is so very good and healing for me to do that. I am able to share your story with people, so that they understand you didn't just kill yourself, and not have any regard for life what-so-ever!!! I am able to share with certain people the Whole truth, what causes suicide, and the mental state of one who contemplates it and actually does it!!! There are so many reasons, and sometimes we see there is never an answer. This is something that needs WAY more study and Attention son. If I have my way, I will do all i can to help!!!
I am sorry that more wasn't done about depression before Shelby died, if there was it is very quite possible...you would still be here with me now!!!
I had a busy day yesterday i tell you. Today i decided to try and keep it simple and to rest, even if only for a bit. I did just that. I still had things to do, but I wasn't stressed. I have noticed that when I don't get enough sleep I am way more emotional, in fact I end up very weepy all day. So I try to get as much rest as possible.
I will write you later.
I love you and miss you so very much Nicholas James Devine. Thank you for helping moma, and for the penny's this week:) I got all 3 of them. My class is going good and helping me a lot.
i love you sweet son.
I love you more ~moma~