***Nicholas, I know you gave Nike a hug***

Hi son, well as you know Nike made his way home and crossed the bridge last night. Auntie Julie still hasn't really processed it all yet, it's gonna take a few and it will be real, then not, then real, then not!!! It may be easier for us by far to lose a pet next to a child, but we both know he was her second son, her end all be all. But she will be ok, and I know at some point she will be loving and giving another loyal kitty.

Well, I have received 17 (pos) cards thus far:) It is so comforting to receive these cards from other moma's who have experienced the physical death of their child in the same way I have. They truly do UNDERSTAND. They understand my loss, my pain, my thoughts and my tears, tears that will fall from my eyes til the day I take my last breath on earth. I will miss you forever, until "The Chain Links Again". I love you sweet boy.
Christmas is upon us, It does not 'feel" like Christmas at all!!! For many reasons, the first being our family chian has broken and can never be fixed, but it can link up again, once we are all reunited in heaven. For 2 Greg & Journey don't want to "celebrate" it this year. We barely got a tree, and we barely have it decorated, lights and 3 ornaments. But it is pretty and it brings a warm feeling to my cold heart.
I will write you soon son, hugs and lots of kisses too. Forever my boy, forever in my heart, forever missed.
i love you more, moma~

***Merry Christmas in Heaven Son***

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, Open your eyes,Love and Go on.
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***Merry Christmas Nick***

***Love you***

Hi Handsome son,
I love you sweet son, We went to "The Candle Lighting" ceremony tonight at Sunset Gardens. It was another beautiful ceremony, there were so many more people there this year, it shows great support for those of us who have lost our children. But it also say's, there are more grieving parents and that is always sad.
You are not forgotten son, your life, your love and your memory will forever live on and on.As long as there is breath in me, you too shall live.
KNDO news was there tonight and they showed your picture on the news Nick, it is so surreal!!!I still can't believe I am One of "The" parents at an event like that:( It's still so hard to admit you aren't here honey. God knows I miss you so much and there will always be a hole in my heart where you occupied it with your life.
I will write you later son,

I love you more moma~