Good night sweet boy

I love you more~moma~

Moma driving to Ca with Nick me, we had a great time together son. I love you more ~moma~

Missing You

Driving with moma to Ca. I love this picture and our memory of our road trip, you were such a comfort to moma. You are beautiful son ~moma~

Missing you

I will never forget the numbness and disbelief I felt on this day!!! I wore your shorts in honor of you my Beautiful Nick, I looked kinda silly but I didn't care I wanted to feel you with me and wear your cloths and it felt good to have them on. Here jess and moma were just looking down at the valley below, missing you. Always in my heart forever in my thoughts. I love you sweet boy, and miss you so very much. all my hugs, kisses and unconditional love to you forever son.
I love you more ~moma~

Sweet Dreams son, I love you more ~moma~

To My Nick, Nick,

' For nothing loved is ever lost '

Moma loves you Nick

Don't judge me for how I left this world,
Remember the love I gave,
A lot of grief will follow me
For the decision that I made.

Changes appear in everyone's life
Some good, some bad,
The one I chose for myself
Made everyone very sad.

But in time the memories
will heal the hurt of hearts
And my presence will be felt by all
With an inner peace.

Remember me when the sun is bright
And laughter fills the air
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind
Will tell you I am there.

Don't look down on my family
Or fill their hearts with blame
For my leaving them without good-byes
Has left them so much pain.

If I could go back in time
I would say a last good-bye
I would tell them to look to tomorrow
And for me, please do not cry.

Don't Judge me- Author Unknown

Butterfly kisses to you son ~moma~

Nicholas,

Your Brother Greg misses you so very much. He always drwas out his sadness and anger. He misses you like crazy. We are holding on Much love moma
I love you more ~moma~

"Good Morning"

Good morning my sweet son,
I love you and miss you baby!
I have a very busy day again today!
I needed to come and say "Good Morning" and that "I love you" before I get going. I love you so much sweet boy. I miss you unthinkably!!!! You are beautiful son, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be and even when I get to heaven with you will still always be my baby.
I love you more son, ~moma~

As long as we live, they too will live;
For they are now a part of us:
As we remember them!

At the rising sun and at its going down,
we remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
we remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
we remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer,
we remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn,
we remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
we remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us.
As we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,
we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,
we remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
we remember them.

When we have joy we crave to share ,
we remember them.

When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
we remember them.

For as long as we live, they too will live,
For they are now a part of us,
as we remember them.

Gates of Prayer - Reform Judaism Prayer Book

I love you more ~moma~

Morning son

Good morning my sweet sweet boy. I love you, I love you. I missed you something terrible last night, I actually had a WAVE. Shit Nick they just come out of nowhere, and so unexpectedly!!! I really hate that...it takes my breath away and I am a mess for the next 2 hours.

Last night I felt it rising just enough to run to the bathroom, there I cried and cried quietly, but Greg heard me and told Dad, LLoyd came and picked me up off the floor and held me, then Greg stepped in and hugged me. I hugged Greg and he hugged me back for a long long time. I am so grateful for them both. For being men, they sure have shown me immeasurable compassion, sensitivity, and love, especially regarding missing you. They have allowed their masculinity to be present and there gentle, tender side too, to console moma. When I hug Greg it gives me comfort. I feel first his love for moma, then I feel a hug from you.

I miss you my sweet sweet Nick Nick.

I have to run out the door, be back soon, write you later. Have a beautiful day son.

I love you more ~moma~

I love you Nick Nick,

Just wanted to tell you "Sweet Dreams" and that I love you so much and miss you so much that there are not adequate words to describe my love and yearning for you!!!

I love you ~more~

Nicholas James,
We love you so very much our precious Nick, Uncle Mark "Unk" Aunt Kim, Shane, Andrea, Kaytlin and Dylan...we miss you so much:(

Hi My Sweet Nicholas James

Hi sweet son,
I love you and miss you so much, everyday!!! All the time, and when I think of you today it is mostly with LOVING, HAPPY, GOOD, and BEAUTIFUL thoughts and memories. I miss your love so very much though son...and know I always will.
Journey and I are gonna call Bella Rose and sing her Happy Birthday she is 4 today:) She's so precious. Joyce is so blessed with 3 beautiful grand daughters. I love them all and wish I was closer to them.
I had a decent day Nick, did a lot of working, cleaning, and went for a 20 minute walk today first time in a long time, it felt good.
It is cold out but still no snow, I'm glad about that for now. This weekend we are gonna put up lights and tree. We still have to clean up all the leaves ugh!!!
I will write you later son. Gotta make dinner and return some emails, and most important spend some time with Lloyd Greg and Journey. I have spent a lot of time on this comp. But got a lot done today. One of my good friends miscarried today, I am so heart broken:( I just gave her a congrats card for her and Chad yesterday!!! I can even believe it. I am so damn sad.
It's been a day of very odd circumstances. Tomorrow court for that bad girl Julie, I will be glad when court is over. Then I pick up Olivia at noon. We are gonna bake Homemade bread in my bread maker, I better get brushed up on it. Nana got that for me and Lloyd a long time ago. Glad I still have it:)
I love you and miss you so very very much my Nick, Nick.
I love you more ~moma~

Hi Nick, Nick

Hi sweet son, I love you and miss you like crazy. I am heading to bed early it was a very long night last night and a very long day today. I will write you later. I miss hearing you tell me" Hi pretty moma" and "I love you moma".

I miss your love, hugs, kisses, voice, laughter, jokes, eyes, curly hair, and everything else about you. My baby, my son, love, boy, my forever friend ans Moma;s boy.

I love you more ~moma~

Hi sweet Nick Nick

Hey baby,
Just missing you and having peaceful thoughts of you right now. Just wanted to send a peaceful picture, my heart is calm tonight, been working on your memorial all day. I have a busy day tomorrow. Next weekend we are getting out our Christmas stuff. Journey made a special Christmas box for you this ear. She wrapped in in silver and black paper for your love of the Raiders and cutout a hole in the top and wrapped it up with silver and black ribbon. Everything day in Dec. she is gonna write you a love note and put it in your special Christmas box. She is doing better and is less angry and sad for the past couple days, she is coming around. Greg still has a hard time talking a lot about you. He wants to decorate the big pine in our front yard especially for you, and nothing else lite up this year. I am gonna let him do that. He also chose to put the firework theme on your new memorial site for you because he knows how much you LOVED the 4th of July. That made him happy. He too is coming around. Moma is gonna wrap a box up and put a heart in it, it will represent your heart with us every Christmas. I will wrap it up beautifully and put a beautiful ribbon on it and put it under the tree, and every year we will have it under there for you.
We all love and miss you so much my love.
Gonna head off to bed now, so good night and sweet, sweet dreams my son.
I love you more ~moma~

Good morning Nick, Nick

Hi baby,
Just sending you a beautiful dove and all my love this Sunday morning.
I miss you and love you so much Nick. I will write you later.
I love you more ~moma~