Hi sweet son

I love you baby I miss u. I am having a very good time here everyone is so amazing I will send pics tomorrow of the retreat pl. I miss u son you are my Nick Nick forever I miss u and I bought u. This retreat has been amazing and has been very emotional, but worth it!!! I love you so much Nick Nick. I will write you soon. I love you more ~ moma~

I miss you

I love you sweet boy and miss you like crazy!!! I am at the POS Spring retreat in Tennessee. It is so good to be with these beautiful woman who know and understand my heart, because they too sadly are wearing my shoes. We have a common thread that is stronger, deeper and wider than most relations in this life time!!! I will write you later handsome, just wanted to say goodnite and I love you more ~moma~

Hi son

I love you Nicholas, I miss you so much. It's raining out!!! For some reason when it rains it makes me think of you... Alot!!! But then again, there are alot of things in this world that make me think of you!!! The sun rise and sun set, music, movies, restaurants, places, people, cars, holidays, etc!!! Life, our lives, without you here, it is all so very odd. I can't seem to grasp life without you in it!!! Helpe Nick, help me to go forward, to believe in tomorrow and the next day and the next and so on!!! I miss you so much Nick Nick!!!
I guess I can tell you that we have the house put together! There are still some things to put away but for the most part it is done. I have given souch away, and there was a lot we lost due to smoke damage, so I have a lot less to deal with which is actually a blessing in disguise!!! Anyway, I just miss you and really wish I could talk to you, love you, hug you, and feel you!!!! I will write later son. I love you more ~moma~

I miss you honey

I love you babe, I miss you. Just wanted to say good night sweet boy. I love you and miss you so much. All my love, I love you more ~ moma~

Good Morning Beautiful Boy

It's raining outside today...I can't help but think of you.... I love you sweet son, and miss you so much. All my love hugs and kisses. I love you baby, I love you more ~moma~

I miss you son,

Hi son, I love you and miss you so very very much!!! God I miss you. Can I PLEASE wake the fuck up from this damn Nightmare?????? I hate tryig to grasp the reality of you dieing....really!!! Shit lets see all you out there try and do it!!! Huh!!! One day, one, hour, one minute, one second at a time!!!
I am leaving in 2 days to go to Tennessee, for 5 days. It is a weekend where I can and will focus on YOU and Me, and try to release some of this "whatever" I have inside of me since you left me son!!! I will write you later sweet Nick Nick. I love you more than ANYONE...ever could!!!!
I love you more ~moma~

I miss you som

I love you son..... I miss you like I am missing a part of my own body that I have had for 46 years!!!! It's like a part of me is dismembered and gone, like part of me is no longer and yet I still feel it'!!!! Like you... You are still with me, everyday i feel you here with me and yet "physically" you aren't here!!! But I see you and feel you and hear you with me... Daily!!!! It is such a hard phenomenon and reality to accept!!! Maybe I won't ever fully accept your death, your absence from my life and everyday life, and from my heart and mind and soul because it knows you are not here in body with me!!! All I know is I Still think about you and miss you every moment of every day!!! And I also know this.... Those who have never had a child of "Theirs" pass on... Will never understand or know truly what is on my mind in my heart or how I feel Every moment of every day, until we meet again my sweet son!!! No one, not even those who's children have died and by suicide, will never know " MY" ache, MY pain, MY loss, MY hurt, MY tears, MY sadness, or MY joy of loving and losing you!!!! I love you baby and will always miss you and long for you.... Always!!!
I love you more ~ moma~