I miss you som

I love you son..... I miss you like I am missing a part of my own body that I have had for 46 years!!!! It's like a part of me is dismembered and gone, like part of me is no longer and yet I still feel it'!!!! Like you... You are still with me, everyday i feel you here with me and yet "physically" you aren't here!!! But I see you and feel you and hear you with me... Daily!!!! It is such a hard phenomenon and reality to accept!!! Maybe I won't ever fully accept your death, your absence from my life and everyday life, and from my heart and mind and soul because it knows you are not here in body with me!!! All I know is I Still think about you and miss you every moment of every day!!! And I also know this.... Those who have never had a child of "Theirs" pass on... Will never understand or know truly what is on my mind in my heart or how I feel Every moment of every day, until we meet again my sweet son!!! No one, not even those who's children have died and by suicide, will never know " MY" ache, MY pain, MY loss, MY hurt, MY tears, MY sadness, or MY joy of loving and losing you!!!! I love you baby and will always miss you and long for you.... Always!!!
I love you more ~ moma~