Nicholas Nicholas Nicholas!!!!

Hi my boy, I miss you son. Everywhere I go and anything I do...I think of you, or I am reminded of you for one reason or another. We went to I-Hop for dinner tonight and a song came on about all I want is you and another one after that say's how far is heaven!!!I just sat there and slumped into saddness once again, hit with a Tidal Wave of grief that is so fresh, so deep, and so permanent and uncontrolable. I miss you so much Nick, there are no words I only want YOU, my head hurts, my heart hurts, my body hurts, my soul hurts and aches for you evey moment. I wonder more than ever, "What is Heaven like and what are you doing". I've thought about this with others, Nana, Uncle Greg, Darold, Marty, ShelbyPaige, Grampa, friends, but never before in such depth and wonderment. I do wonder what you are doing and where you are, I feel in my heart though babe that you are more than alright, you are joyful, at peace, and forever free from all pain and fear. I love you so much honey. I miss you so very much, I love you more, forevermore~Moma~

My Sweet Son, I love you more ~Moma~

I love you Nicholas James

I miss you son so much more and more. I love you more Nicholas~Moma~

Morning Son

I love you so much my sweet Nicholas. ~Moma~

I love you Nicholas James

I will write more later...had to say "Sweet Dreams" It has been a wild 2 days. I miss you my sweet Nick, I love you more and more ~Moma ~

Nicholas, Sweet dreams

I miss you, and I know it's late again just wanted to say "Sweet Dreams" I love you more son ~Moma~

Nick, Nick, Nick

I FREAKING MISS YOU SON<><

Morning sweet son

Morning my sweet Nicholas,


I miss you babe, more than I can even say! I miss you like crazy, I think I am crazy, I think things like this make people crazy, so they can deal with real life!!! I will never ever get over you, never. I only hope that some day I am not too sad that I can be the best Moma to Greg and Journey and to laugh again. I know you would want that son, but right now it is just too hard. I don't know when but I hope we can all get through this together. I miss you, I miss you, I miss, you...I love you more and more ~MOMA ~

I Miss You

I LOVE YOU MORE ~MOMA~

"SWEET DREAMS" my boy

I miss you Nick, memories for a life time of you.

Hi Son, I just miss you it is the story of my life, I don't know what to do without you, I feel like my heart is broken, smashed, empty, shredded, fragmented, missing and what is left doesnt know how to function with all that it possess's. i want you back, i want you in my world everyday!!! just getting ready to have something to eat. Nothing ever sounds good, and food never has tasted the same since you went away. i eat at least once a day even if it is a shake or something small, I am taking my vitamins though you know how I am with them.

I love you so much Nicholas James and I never ever imaged you going away before me son, I could never imagine living out any of my babies, it is horrible and I experience your pain with ShelbyPaige everyday honey. I just don't want to be awake alot, I only want to sleep, i wish i could move forward but every time I think I'm gonna try to I fall back to steps into utter saddness and loss over you. God Nick I miss you my Beautiful, I love you more and more everyday ~Moma~

Kisses from Moma to Nicholas James

I miss you sweetheart, everyday all day!! I miss your face, your smile, your eyes looking back at me, your laugh, and most of all your love. I miss all of you, I love you more~Moma~

"Sweet Dreams" my Nick

Hi babe,

Miss you! gonna help the kids get into bed now, first day back to school in 2 weeks, it's been a long Christmas break. Grge's gonna start drivers Ed. this year ya know?? Man, Nick just man!!! Gonna try and get some rest myself here babe. I like to take my hot baths at night but lately it's been so cold you just want to jump out your clothes and into warm pJ's. Anyway son, I will talk to you in the morning, kisses,hugs, sweet dreams, I love you more ~Moma~ P.S. I heard Zoe call Melissa "MOMA" yesterday!!! That tripped me out, Mel said she's been doing that since you flew away angel!!!Go figure, miss you honey, I love you more~Moma~

I miss you sweetheart

Hi my Beautiful "Son"shine, I miss you so much, I love you more~Moma~

Sweet Dreams

Morning son;

It is officially Sunday the 4th, wanted to say "Sweet Dreams" miss you, love you more and more ~Moma~

Hi sweet Boy

Hi babe,It's still Sat. the 3rd before midnight. Just wanted to say thank you again babe for the single penny you sent me tonight, I had to get gas at conoco earlier and I only had cahs so i had to prepay ans when I was walking across the parking lot I happened to look down at the ground at some point and right as I looked down in the midst of all the snow and ice on the ground again, I found your penny. I love you.Did I tell you the other night I was watching movies with Lars and his friend Emily , we were wacthing everybody loved Raymond and it split to a different part int he movie and there was a street sign that they showed and it said "Rose" one way and "Allan" the other, The correct spelling of both Journey and Greg's middle names it tripped me out. just earlier I was showing Emily all your pictures and I showed her my street sign that say's "Nicholas Dr. Iy was all too much.anyway sweetheart I need to finish helping your sissy with her quilt, it keeps my hands busy on something very worth while. i miss you with a deep passion, I love you more ~Moma~