Just a thought

Good morning in heaven son,
It has been 31months today Nick since you died:(( I cannot believe you are gone....gone but not forgotten, not even for a moment my Beautiful Boy. I miss you everyday all day and I will always long for you my son. It ripped my heart apart when I learned that you were dead, and to know that you ended it all because of your extreme pain just makes it all the worse, because I couldn't save you from yourself:(( God knows I tried:(( I miss you terribly Nicholas....crying while I write. I swear others have gone on with their lives, and I shall never be the same again, never. I am trying with everything inside of me Nick to regain a "new normal" in my life but it is a fight everyday of my life I promise. What the hell is "normal" anyway? No one, No one knows my pain for you son, you were so good, so sweet, so handsome and so lovely. I miss you with a passion this day. My heart still aches for you, and it always will my son.
Missing you and loving you more Moma~