Sweet Dreams my Sweet Nick ~moma~

Hi sweet son

Hi my sweet boy Nick,
I miss you so very much still...all the time, god I just want to hug you so bad son, I wish you were here.
Your beautiful cousin Angela was married this evening. She married a wonderful guy, they met in college. He lives in Spokane so she is moving there in 2 weeks. Her wedding was perfect and beautiful. I cried and cried!! first because she looked so beautiful, then because I thought about Journey's wedding day, then I wished you were there with us to see it, then I cried because I never got to see you get married Nick........ sad thoughts and missing you terribly right now. but I always miss you, I am sad today and have had some hard days this week, I just miss you so much!
I will say Greg and Journey are doing better son, they are getting along a lot like they did before you died baby. We , us, they, you and they, we were all so close! It was a very rough year for them, but they are doing much better and regaining that close bond between them again. It was so hard to see them like that, unhappy, scared, sad and distant from each other. I thank God that they are healing and coming back together again. Being at the same school together has helped alot in just the past 3 weeks.
It makes my heart glad and full to see them loving on each other, being kind, and laughing again. They miss you...bad! Greg told me the other day "It's like he's still here". I said what do you mean son and he said well, it's like I don't really want to think he's gone and that its real, even though I haven't seen him. He spoke volumes when you said that Nick. When he does start letting it in a lil more he will talk to me, he promised. He's such a good boy Nick, you would be so very proud of him.
I love you so very much sweet son, and I miss you............... Incomprehensibly.
I miss you.....
I love you more ~moma~

I love you Nick

Hi my boy,
I miss you, its been a lot the last two days!
We have been cleaning up the side yard today but need to stop so we can get ready to go to Angie's wedding. Yes...Angie is getting married, to a nice guy I guess his name is Brian and I don't know him that well yet. He lives in Spokane so she will be moving there soon.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I love you and miss you. I will write you later son.
I love you, I love you more ~moma~

I luv luv you Nicky

You are missed more than you could ever know!
I miss you my sweet nick, I miss your love your life your spirit your silliness your Heart as big as the ocean your hazel eyes sparkling back at me your smile your voice your laugh your curly hair your love for me your kindnes and big heart for everyone especially for the less fortunate your humor your randomness your creative and brilliant mind, and most of all...YOU!!!
Sweet Dreams my sweet Nick. I will never forget you and all your beautiful qualities you shared with those that were deserving of it.
I will write you later son. mommy misses you, I miss you everyday a hundred times a day.
Nicholas you were one of my greatest joys in life and a blessing from God. You filled my heart with so many good things and beautiful memories. Thank you son for your love.
Greg and I went to see you today. I will share the conversation we had with you tonight when i say my prayers and talk with you before I go to bed.
I love you, I miss you.
I love you more ~moma~

My Nick, I love you ~moma~

Hi Nick

Hi son,
Well I love you I love you so much and miss you so much too.
sweet boy. I miss you.
Today is officially 9-11 and I pray nothing bad happens.
Anyway, Lloyds Birthday BBQ was very nice. We had some amazing steaks that Gr. did up , baked potatoes, salad, cake...yea everything and sherbet ice cream too. Jess came too, and then came over later for a bit.
I drove with a friend to Federal Way, (you know where your sissy was born) and back tonite got home about 12, so I'm up late again. but it's all okay.
I wanted to say Good nite son, and that I love you more ~moma~

Hi Son

I love you soma~weet son I love you more ~m

Hi my Nicholas

Hi sweet boy,
I love you Nick, I miss you mucho, mucho, mucho!
I slept in this morning then a friend came by and we visited for about 2 hours. Now I need to get in the shower, we are going to Gr. for Lloyds B-day party and the kids will be home any minute. I don't really feel like going over there, it's so boring. But Gr. doesn't like to go anywhere anymore, so we are having it there so his mom can celebrate too. I will let you know how things went. I love them and all, but everyone there just seems to have gotten on with their lives and jolly and I just have a hard time with it all. Truth.
I love you my Nick, Nick!!! I miss you too much and always will. I am getting through this first tumultuous year, but I will never get over losing you...never. I think about you, talk about you, and miss you everyday! I wish you were here with us son, we miss you so much, our hearts are healing but they will never be quite the same again.
I will write you later son. I love you more ~moma~

Hi Sweet boy

Hi son,
I love you Nicholas James.
I miss you soooooooooooooo much.
I talked with your cousin today and guess what? They are coming to Wa, yea, yea, yea yea yea! How cool is that. They can stay with us, like we stayed with them. They are thinking about coming in Oct. Now I was gonna go down there in Oct to see Kris, however I haven't heard back yet as to whether or not he will be there in oncert. I'm gonna find out soon though.
Greg and lloyd got the car painted and they sent for the title so we should be selling it really soon.
Llody's birthday is tomorrow, we are going to Gr. Jess was invited hope she comes. We hung out for a bit last night. She misses you too so very much, you and Shelby of course. Our lives have completely changed Nick. One can't go through this and not come out different!
I love you so much son and miss the smell of your skin, your love, your smile and laugh and your enormous hugs!!! I miss all of you. You were a good son Nick. I would have given anything to take that pain away from you....if only! but i do know I will see you in Heaven, and that day will be beautiful son.
We are gonna have a huge Bon-fire party for you Nick in Oct. We will share stories, memories and your big loving heart. We won't be short of conversation that's for sure.
I love you sweet son, I love you more ~moma~

I love you Nick

Hi Sweet Son, I miss you and I love you very much!

Hi Son

I love you Nick,
Well, I went with Nikki today for lunch, it was good to see her. Unless we make a date we won't see each other for several weeks. So, that seems to be the only way I can get together with anyone anymore...put it on the calender.
It is so hard to write you sometimes son. There is so much to tell you and I have so much to say and share with you, but I realize more and more as I get on to write you....your really gone!!! I want to share with you bacause I feel closer to you, even though I know I will never get a response from you, I do it over and over. Ugh!
I love you and miss you so very much Nicholas James. I will always miss you.
I am still reading my book and it is helping me to some degree, I know I'm doing more. I am even thinking about going back to work. I still do Ascential but I might want to do something different now.
Greg and Lloydd are painting the car right now. No school today so they spent most of the weekend getting it ready to spray. It's been windy the last 2 days though, today it let up so they are going for it.
I will write you later son.
I miss you , I miss you, I miss you son.
I love you more ~moma~

YOU ARE SOOO HANDSOME !!!

Sweet Dreams Son

Hi sweet by, I love you. Saying good night I know, but I love you kiddo and I miss you always. I will write you agin soon son..you know thAt. When I was leaving the parking lot with Greg Journey and her friend Nicole I went toback up and bumped my purse and I heard it was dialing soe one and so I thought I better take a look at it and sure enuf so I 'm calling you!
I love you sweet baby james.
I LOVE YOU MORE ~MOMA~