I love you Nick Nick

Hi Sweet Son,
I miss you baby...I love you!!! All I can think about is " you" however I do have Greg and Journey on mind too!!! You aren't here!!!! And they are!!! Wow what do I do, it is so very hard Nick, to live for who is here and try to not think about you!!!! Wow really, is that even possible??? No!!! It's not!!! I will always think of you, you will always be on my mind!!! I mean shit Nick, you will be 27 in Aug!!!!! Hello...does anyone understand that?! No, no, no one understands that, nit anyone, no one not one!!! No, nor ONE!!!! Only your Moma understands that, because I'm your moma!!! That's why!!no one knows or understands my loss, my pain, my LOVE, my ACHE!!! NO-ONE!!! God I miss you Nick Nick!!!! Nicholas James Devine. You have catpured and enveloped my life!!! All I think about and obsessed about is you, because I LOVE you SO much!!!! Oh Nick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss you babe!!!
It sucks!!!!!
I miss you.
I love you more and more and more and more and more!!!
I love you more~moma~

Hi my beautiful Nick Nick...

Hi son,
It's monday...ugh!!! Another week begins withut you!!! Nick, I miss you so much sweetie...I just cannot stop thinking about you!!! Fuck, I swear, NO FUCKING ONE uderstands this Nick, I swear to GOD...NOT ONE, not one mother fucker gets it!!!I cry non stop everyday for you my boy, my love, my beatiful son!!! All I can say for sure is this, I really look forward to the day you and I are reunited with you forever!!! What a day that WILL BE.
I am trying to hang on, I am!!! There are such evil, wicked, people in this world, cold and heartless...I can barely stand it!!! i must hang onto what is GOOD, RIGHT, PURE, LOVELY...to survive!!! Afterall I am a SURVIVOR right???
I wear a silver chain around my neck that reads on one side SUVIVOR the other has the ribbon that signifies suicide!!!
I wear it with love, pride ad pain, if the truthbe known!!!
I miss you my Beautiful son.
I love you more ~ MOMA ~