Good nite son

I love you sweet son...I miss you baby so very much!!! I had a good day today. It rained this morning and I thought of you as I sat out on the front portch. Then it turned out to be a very pretty day...and I thought of you some more:) going to bed now kiddo. I miss you Nick:( Heaven is a very lucky place...it has you!!! Sweet dreams my boy.
I luv u more ~ moma~

Hi my sweet boy

Hi son....
Well, I had a full week at work and it was great babe! It feels good to be out and about, interacting with adults on a business level again! I have realized in just the one week of working that I miss " IT" very much. I just didn't have the desire, the will or e edgy up to this point to even try! I still don't really know how to " live with" the ache in my heart and the void in my life.....YOU!!! I am trying to learn to live with it, as opposed to trying to " live without" YOU!!! One is positive, light and hope. The other is negative, dark and hopeless!!! I just miss you so much son, and I know I always will :)
I have some great news son! Lloyd is leaving for Kwaj to work for 5 weeks. He leaves next Sunday. He will be returning home on Aug. 6th. and get to Hon. Hawaii that morning then he will fly to Maui at 11 am. We leave Pasco early that morning and we fly to Seattle then straight to Maui and meet him there at 11 am. We will stay in Maui for a week!!! I can hardly believe it:) Gosh we could use a vacation so bad right about now. We have been through so much! Greg and Journey are going to LOVE it!!! We are really looking forward to it.
The kids are doing great:) Lloyd and I have had some rough moments...but are are much better now and determined to make things even better. We love each other so much, we just hurt so much too. But we have built. Beautiful family and life together, wenwill do anything to preserve it!!! We are worth it, the kids derserve it and we plan to make it work!!! I knew marriage took work, moma always told me that!!! But I guess you have to experience it for yourself, to really understand that! It's all good! We are gonna be just fine Nick!!! I know how much you loved Lloyd, and told me to never leave him!!! He is a good man, husband and Daddy:)
I love you sweet son, I luv u so very much and miss you terribly still!!! I will write you later my precious son.
Good night Nick Nick,
I luv u more ~ Moma~

I luv you baby :) work has been great for me and I enjoying it very much! I miss you sweet boy I love you so much Nick. I will write you later son, going to bed now. Sweet Dreams son. Love hugs and kisses :)
I luv you more ~ Moma~

Hello my sweet son

Hi Nicholas James, my lovely boy!!! I miss you...I miss you terribly, I miss you always:( I know you are happy, free, and smiling...always! I know your beautiful heart and soul are at peace! I always day dream and wonder, what your about! You are always on my mind and I think of you always:) your beautiful handsome face brings joy to my life, for I am so very greatful to have loved you for the time I did! I do wonder, even though it has only been a little more than 19 months, how much more handsome you would be!!! I miss you so much Nick! I miss you I miss you I miss you:(
I start work tomorrow! Im hoping it keeps my mind occupied, and gives me some new purpose in my days, as I am so sad deep in my heart over you. I hope this will be the beginning of something good, fresh, new and beautiful, as I need all those things in my life Nick! I have been so down, so lost and so sad...my boy has died and gone to heaven and I miss hIm terribly and my heart forever aches!!! I shall miss you and love you always son. You are so beautiful. I will write you later son. Kisses, big hugs and all my undying love to you son.
I love you...I luv you more ~ moma~