Good morning Nick

Hi son, I miss you...
Today I have to take the kids to the H.S. to meet their counselors and make changes to their classes and schedules. Can you believe it, Journey and Greg both in H.S.!!! Wow, I can hardly believe it myself. Next year Greg will be driving his sis to school. :) That will be cool...no more bus, they'll be digging that for sure.
I love you so much sweet boy, I miss you with an unimaginable deepth and measure! I know God rescued your tormented soul, and for that I am Eternally greatful, but God how I miss my happy, free spirited, funny, loving awesome son Nick. I prayed son everyday all day after Shelby passed that God would heal your heart and soul and give you the tools to help you carry on with Jess and the rest of us, so that you could see that even though this tragedy had taken place, one it wasn't your fault and two that you had so much more to live for. Journey prayed for you too so much and worried so much for you, god that nearly ripped my heart out the things she would say, the fear she had for you and the hope that one day you would be okay. When you had the ultimate healing (going home to our Lord) everyone was shocked and devastated. She was completely broken at that moment. We were all crushed and broken. I have these thoughts and many like them all the time. I know over the next few years I will be able to share them or bits and pieces as my heart allows me to without losing it. I will never forget having to tell her and Greg that you had died...never. It was the worse thing I have ever had to tell anyone. Then I had to tell Jess, it was aweful all the way around.
I will share a beautiful memory of you now because I believe this is also a part of my healing.
I remember the day you found the Repsol and you called me. You told me all about it in detail and that "This" was your "Dream Bike" of all time. Lloyd and went with you to talk with the guy about it and to test drive it. You were so so very excited. When Lloyd and I agreed to help you get it, you hugged me and Lloyd so tight, and said thank you soooooomuch moma and Lloyd. The smile that was on your face was...PRICELESS. The hug you gave me felt like the most GREATFUL hug I have ever received!!! You were the happiest 22 year old I knew. And you most definitley had the coolest bike in town! I know it was a material thing, but thats alright because sometimes material things do make us happy and thats okay. They of course aren't the most important thing in life...by far, but I am glad you got to experience the fun and joy of having that bike. You were also happy about getting your jeep, that was another proud moment in your life. You were proud of yourself. but your jeep you got on your own. you were working and doing wonderful. You felt great about life and yourself.
I love you baby, and I miss all of you so very much. I will write you later sweet boy.
I love you more, forevermore ~moma~