My Gifts to Me on Christmas Mourning,

My gift to me is to acknowledge that the anticipation of any holiday can often be much worse than the actual event.

My gift to me is to acknowledge my wish list: to put up a tree-if I wish; to send cards-if I wish; to have our traditional Christmas-if I wish; to go on a holiday-if I wish.

My gift to me is to admit that I won't always have to celebrate the holidays this way, but for the time being, this is how I must cope.

My gift to me is to be aware that the sights, sounds, smells and music of the holiday season may bring "grief bursts". This is OK. This is my tribute to my Beloved son.

My gift to me is to take care of me and allow myself to have some "time-out" and indulge in an emotional and spiritual retreat.

My gift to me is to remember something special about My sweet boy Nicholas James Devine, and share that memory with others who support me.

My gift to me is to disallow others to force me into doing things I don't want to do; I will not let them "should" on me.

My gift to me is to talk about happy memories and good times past, and laugh if I want. Having a good time does not mean that I have forgotten my beautiful Nick.

My gift to me is to not numb myself with excessive eating, drinking, or drugs, or harm myself or others, if an emotional crisis occurs; I will turn to those who love and support me.

My gift to me is to surround myself with those who appreciate, understand and respect my need to seek harmony and well being during this season of peace on earth.

This is my gift to me on Christmas Mourning....