Oh my Nick, Nick!!!
Sometimes life throws us so much at once, and it isn't all bad...just overwhelming!!!
It seems I've been going again...ALL day!
It is already 9:48 and I just sat down and stopped moving and going since this morning...UGH!!!
I will write you later my son. I miss you so very much Nick!!!
I realized while sharing in group tonight that for the FIRST time in 15 months, I didn't cry for that day...that was Sat Jan 30Th 2010. WHOA!!! Major, Major, Major, VICTORY!!! By 10 pm Sat. night I realized I had not cried during the day for you, it through me for a WILD loop. Hard to explain, but then again, I don't need to you already know. I know that I had a lot of different "emotions" going on all at once. Shock, sadness, guilt, victory, blessed, hopeful, lonely, GLAD. Glad for the first time in 15 months, my grief and mourning for you didn't control or start my entire day!!! That's not to say I didn't think about you, miss you, or wish you were with us Sat, because I did!!! I also know that you and God were smiling down upon me, the moment I realized grief and sadness didn't steal my joy, the love of your life with me, every breathing waking moment from me!!! Class was good tonight.
God is healing my broken heart sweet son, and I KNOW "YOU" Nick are also GLAD for Moma! :)
One day son, one sweet day, we WILL be together again...one sweet day. I love you my Beautiful Nicholas.
I will write you later my love.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you son.
I love you more ~moma~
PS~today something really "freaky" and "scary" happened!!! i will share tomorrow, kk...love you sweet boy, love you:)
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