I love you son......you are so beautiful and I will NEVER EVER understand "WHY" you had to leave me. Fuck everyone else!!! I wasn't done LOVING YOU, NEEDING YOU, WANTING YOU, KISSING YOU, HOLDING YOU.....I "YOUR MOMA" was NOT done, I will never be done. I will always love you and I will always miss and want you. Some days are still so hard Nick!!! I cry all the time...still.
I went to your garden yesterday and today, and took some beautiful white flowers. As I sat crying and talking to you, I noticed how much dirt had gotten into the grooves on your headstone( just saying that makes me cry and cringe). So i came back today with a small brush and cleaned it real good. I hope your tree starts blooming soon, it is so pretty when it does.
I miss you Nicholas James
I love you more ~moma~
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