Hi my beautiful boy

Hi baby,
I'm sorry I haven't written in so long:( I love you babe and miss you so very much. You were so beautiful son:) Everytime I show a picture of you to someone or someone sees one in our home they all say " wow, he was very handsome" or " he was a good looking man"!!! You were son, you were just beautiful:) https
Todays lloyds birthday, and he is flying home tomorrow. He has been in kwaj for a while. I'm glad he is finally coming home. We need him here...especially moma!!! But you know what I've been going through, thinking, and doing for the past week, and I know you are very proud of moma, and pleased, not just for myself but also for Greg, Journey, and Lloyd :) I am proud of myself too Nick:) I know you would want me to be happy and be a good moma to Greg and Journey and good to Lloyd...and I have courageously started that long journey back to " Living" once again, and not just " surviving". Thank you for looking after moma:) Thank you son for the feather 2 days ago when I needed it most, and for the one you sent Journey yesterday, she loved it. She knows and completely believes with all her heart as do I that they are from you:) thanks for sharing with us in such a gentle and beautiful way son. You always were such a gentle, beautiful and compassionate soul:) that's part of why I miss you so much, because you had a beauty soul and heart!!! I am blessed to be " Your" Moma...and Very, Very Proud of you son. I thank God He chose me to be your moma, as much as it hurts to not have you here with me ( us) now, I am and forever will be Greatful to have been, " chosen" to be your Moma:)
I miss you sweet boy...with great passion. I know I always will. But I must continue to remember All the beautiful memories of your beautiful life, and all the Joy, Love, and Happiness you brought into my life and heart. It will " Forever" be with me...forever!!!
I love you son, forever my Nick Nick. Sweet Dreams Sweet Son.
I love you more ~ Moma~