I love you babe, I am weepy for you today...I do have much better days, and the memories of all the precious years you were here with me keep me smiling and sustain me when I think I cannot take another breath because of the longing, but your love and your life keep me holding on. I hear your voice telling me, Moma you are worth it, and be happy!!!
17 days today son...:) I know you are proud, look at your brother and sister they are so proud of Moma too, and they are secure again, laughing again, getting along again, and they are amazing.
I miss you sweet boy. journey and I had a brief but cool conversation last night! I don't remember what I said but she replied with...I can't wait for heaven!!!! I said yes you can, and she said well you know what I mean mom, it will be so awesome, no more evil, no more, sadness, no pain and no tears and I said yes Babe, that is right, then she said and I can see my brother again and Nana and Shelby, and Unce greg and "D" and all my loved ones and pets and friends!!!! Oh, I remember what it was that got us on that subject. I grabbed a compisition book, for my womans study group that just happened to be her's and she smiled and said you gonna use this moma, and I said ya if thats ok. She said oh this one is from 8th grade. In it was a story of what she would grab if there was a house fire and she said she would grab her porceline hand that her Nana made and pidtures of her beloved niece, she said these mean the world to her:) that was after Shelby died but before you. Then she said also in there is a story about who I'd want to see again if given the chance...who do you think that is, yep YOU Nick. This was after you died. She wrote so much, she said " Everyday I wish I could see his bright beautiful face. Nothing could help his soul. She say's she misses your laughs, his beautiful bright eyes, his hugs and kisses, and when I was sad I will never forget his loving voice. His last words to me were, I love you sissy, I'll see you when I get home...but he didn't come home, instead he went to heaven:(. She say's again amongst other things, I just want to see my brother again. See son, you were so loved by so many so deeply...you are missed beyond description, and yet your 13 year old sister say's it all, very well.
We miss you and think of you everyday!!!! You are so beautiful and I miss that part of me....YOU!!!!!
I love you sweet Nick, I miss you and I too can't for the day I will hold you forever in my arms:)
Kisses and hugs to you my sweet boy....Come see me in my dreams and make them sweet son.
Forever my son...
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