Nicholas Baby,
I know I havent been here in a very long time...since Oct 26th!!! As I have said many of times, the more time that goes by the harder it gets:((
Baby I have struggled and struggled since your death....I am still so broken, I just don't know what to do son, I hurt hurt hurt.
I miss your voice Nick, I miss your beautiful smile, I miss your laugh, I miss you hugging me tight son....I miss you, I miss you.
Christmas is here AGAIN, and it is the worst one yet. I am in MO (you went there once Nick looking for work, I remember), I came up here with "Big dreams", everything turned out to be a disaster:(( I'm having a hard hard day son. I will spend the first Christmas ever without my children...Greg and Journey arent here with me:(( I am homesick and heartsick. I wish I could feel better Nick, but there just isn't anything that can help with a Mother's aching heart when it comes to her babies!
I did get a CHristmas card from Joyce and one from another grieving Moma:))
I'm sober today and plan to go to several meetings to try and not dwell, I know I will but it helps to be around others. I have learned, Isolation is NOT my friend!!!
I miss you terribly NICHOLAS....
I guess there is nothing else to say, except Merry Christmas in heaven my sweet sweet Nick and.....
I LOVE YOU MORE
~MOMA~
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