Nicholas James

Hi son,
I miss you and love you Nick.Well,
I took Journey to High School for her very first day this morning! Ugh, she is in H.S. Its all good but man are they growing up fast.When I left the school parking lot I cried and cried, for a number of reasons, those of which I have already shared with you on my way home:) I wish you could see her now Nick. She's so pretty and smart. Greg is so big now he is nearly 5'10 just a couple inches shorter than his Dad but he's only 15 and not done growing. He is so handsome too, like you babe.
Life is going on all around me and I am trying to get CONNECTED again. It is so hard with a broken heart! I have started my healing process a couple months back, but have made a few more choices in that direction just this week. I plan to quit smoking again real soon, I am reading again, and I hope to start work soon. I will keep you posted on those as they unfold.I miss you like crazy babe, and I may not write every single day every single hour but I still think of you that often. Part of my healing is using my time wisely and being present for Lloyd, Greg, Journey and the rest of our family and my friends. Part of my healing is physical some is mental but mostly it is spiritual, healing my heart and soul that is still so raw with emotion. I used to volunteer my time with several community services here, TCPC and MOW, and haven't been avaiable for the past 14 months. I am started to revisit them slowly by email. I will be providing treats for the H.E.A.R.T class starting in mid Sept. It feels good but a lil scarey to start connecting again.I will write you later my sweet boy.
I have a quick funny story to tell you. Last night after Greg and Dad got back from working on the Audi we were sitting out back talking about how fast this car is, because it has a 4.2 liter in it, so it reminded me of the old T-Bird Lloyd got for a few hundred dollars. You were about 12 or 13 and Lloyd decided to take you for a drive in this car, just down the street and back to show you what it's got. mind you it was a boat of a car not bad looking, but it had a 429 in it and it was faaaaaast!!! So, off you two went as you two often did, Lloyd is full of adventure and you were all for it, you loved chillin with Lloyd because he knew a little about a lot. but he knew a lot about cars and always had a story for you.Well down the street you went and I expected you back in a few only you didnt come right back. So, about a 1/2 hour later you two pulled up. I asked where you guys went and if it was fun. You both had smiles on your face, but then prceeded to tell me you got pulled over by the police. Long story short there was you went down Comstock snd turned onto Goethels, then you punched it! Well, to your dismay the po-po was right there. He pulled you over and you just explained you were showing your son there what that car was made of. He chuckled a bit and you two were let go WITHOUT a ticket. LOL what fun and excitment you and Nick were always in. it was a great laugh and memory for us to share.
I miss you Nick! I love you so much.
I love you more ~moma~