My sweet boy Nick

Hi baby,
Nicholas James..... You are HEAVY on my heart today son!!! I got that icky feeling going on! I have been doing so much better then today, well my heart felt like it was shattering all over again!
Oh my Nick...I miss you so much my beautiful son. My heart hurts today....I know you are gone...but not forgotten, and only from THIS world...I will see you in the hereafter!
You may not be in my everyday life, but everyday of my life I still love you. I can't make or tell my heart to stop crying! It starts and stops when its done!
This is where I am right now!
It's a gazillion times worse than being stuck between a rock and a hard spot.
Oh Nick, I have no other words right now except...I want to kiss you, hug you, love you, smell you, touch you and tell you I LOVE YOU.
If there was ever a time I had the power to turn back the hands of time it would be now!!!
I know GOD has a plan, and my head understands that, but my heart, well my heart never will.
I love you so much my Nicholas James Devine.
I love you more ~moma~