Thank you baby for coming to see moma in my dreams last night!!!
Oh my goodness...you were soooooo "HAPPY", praise GOD. I could see PEACE in your eyes, I FELT it coming from your body, and you are whole, healthy and complete:) My heart rejoices today for the very FIRST time since your sunset day. I feel more at peace in MY heart and soul today about your leaving this world than ever before. Even though I always believed and will always believe you are with Jesus and I will see you again, your visit last night at dulled the pain that you felt when you lived on earth...for whatever reasons you were angry sad or mad...you aren't anymore!!! Thank you Jesus for giving me the dream and the peace "your" peace, that supersedes and surpasses all understanding! I needed to see your face so badly, and now I have. I also knew you weren't going to stay with me in my dream, that you came to me to "SHOW" me, so I could "SEE" and "FEEL" that you" ARE" in and at peace!!!!
Nonetheless, I am still sad you aren't here with me, the peace I received will always be with me now. So when I get down I can always Thank GOD for that "Dream Visit" and the PEACE I saw in your eyes on your face, and felt coming from you. It was a gift, a beautiful Christmas gift from father God. I will try to focus on your love too...the love that you got and gave while here with moma, instead of the pain and hurt you once knew. No more struggles, no more pain, no more tears, no more anger, no more hurt, no more broken heart and soul. Now, you know pure joy, pure love, perfect love, and your heart is whole, like never before sweet son. Thank you Jesus, thank you.
My dream...Nick In my dream, It was like I was waiting for you to come and see me. I will try to explain even though you already know. I was standing there waiting for you to come around the corner. I can compare the wait to that when you haven't seen someone you love in a very long time and you are in an airport...and your waiting for that person to come out of the boarding dock!!! I was waiting there in this place I don't know where I was, but I knew I was about to see you, then you turned the corner and there you were. Your face was happy, healthy, soft, loving. You had the biggest smile for moma, so loving and pleasant, and pure. Your eyes fixed on mine and you just kept smiling and looking at me. You knew I was waiting for you too, and you couldn't wait to see me:)
I know there are people out there that have said or will say it was selfish of you to do what you did, but they didn't know you, and they certainly didn't walk in your shoes. So for those who JUDGE just know this, Suicide, killing ones self is not the "easy way out", "painless", "selfish" or even "courageous"!!! The mind is sick and doesn't feel good, or think right, and it doesn't want to hurt anymore from not feeling good. Just as the body doesn't feel good or act right when it is sick, and we don't want to hurt anymore, and people die. Do we dare judge them in their sickness or for their sickness or think, oh how selfish of that person?!!! Weather they want to die because they don't feel good, kill themselves, or eventually succumb to some sort of illness we all want the same thing, to be out of pain. No, we wouldn't treat most people that way. We would have empathy, sympathy, and love for the "SURVIVORS", the family, friends and loved ones, for the one who actually goes on to be with God, For those of you who will read this and have judged, thought or spoken of my Nicholas or anyone else for that matter who has taken their life...it is not your place to judge, you are not God, you have NO RIGHT, and you are ignorant!!! What we as survivors need is love hope and prayer. No matter the age, race, or gender of the person who takes their life, it is not that they were selfish and didn't want to live...It IS they only wanted to pain, the hurt, the anguish to STOP. May God bless you who have judged, gossiped or talked ill fated of those who took their lives and said that person had no appreciation for LIFE or the VALUE of LIFE, because you really don't have a clue. That is not the case, the truth or the thinking that does on in their minds when that became what they thought to be the only way to stop hurting. Nicholas no longer lives a miserable existence, praise the Lord. There is plenty of misery to go around the world...that's for sure, and I'm glad Nick no longer has to or ever will feel miserable again...ever!!!
Nicholas, you my BEAUTIFUL SON had more compassion at your tender age of 25 than I now know most people (full grown adults in their 40's, 50's, 60's ). What the people in the world need is "THE SAVIOR" JESUS CHRIST, not a gazillion ignorant, controlling self- appointed little gods trying to dictate and manipulate others. May they "those who judge, those who think they have the right or power to condemn others, the little gods, the self-centered, NEVER know my pain" or nick's for that matter,(the pain of losing a child), especially to suicide or an innocent baby. I will pray for you who HAVE or ever WILL judge Nicholas for his fatal action on that "unimaginable painful" early morning of Oct 23rd, 2008. Bless your soul baby:( !!!
I don't have to say R.I.P. for I will always know and believe YOU ARE "IN" PEACE, YOU ARE "AT" PEACE, YOU "ARE" PEACE!!!
For you are for all Eternity...forever peaceful, Amen.
I miss you so very much though... because I loved you so very much, and you were my son, and you were my life, my heart my everything for 25 years. I will always miss you and wish you were still here with moma, Lloyd , Greg and Journey, because you were a lovely human being and the most beautiful son to me. I love you....always
I love you more ~moma~
Oh my goodness...you were soooooo "HAPPY", praise GOD. I could see PEACE in your eyes, I FELT it coming from your body, and you are whole, healthy and complete:) My heart rejoices today for the very FIRST time since your sunset day. I feel more at peace in MY heart and soul today about your leaving this world than ever before. Even though I always believed and will always believe you are with Jesus and I will see you again, your visit last night at dulled the pain that you felt when you lived on earth...for whatever reasons you were angry sad or mad...you aren't anymore!!! Thank you Jesus for giving me the dream and the peace "your" peace, that supersedes and surpasses all understanding! I needed to see your face so badly, and now I have. I also knew you weren't going to stay with me in my dream, that you came to me to "SHOW" me, so I could "SEE" and "FEEL" that you" ARE" in and at peace!!!!
Nonetheless, I am still sad you aren't here with me, the peace I received will always be with me now. So when I get down I can always Thank GOD for that "Dream Visit" and the PEACE I saw in your eyes on your face, and felt coming from you. It was a gift, a beautiful Christmas gift from father God. I will try to focus on your love too...the love that you got and gave while here with moma, instead of the pain and hurt you once knew. No more struggles, no more pain, no more tears, no more anger, no more hurt, no more broken heart and soul. Now, you know pure joy, pure love, perfect love, and your heart is whole, like never before sweet son. Thank you Jesus, thank you.
My dream...Nick In my dream, It was like I was waiting for you to come and see me. I will try to explain even though you already know. I was standing there waiting for you to come around the corner. I can compare the wait to that when you haven't seen someone you love in a very long time and you are in an airport...and your waiting for that person to come out of the boarding dock!!! I was waiting there in this place I don't know where I was, but I knew I was about to see you, then you turned the corner and there you were. Your face was happy, healthy, soft, loving. You had the biggest smile for moma, so loving and pleasant, and pure. Your eyes fixed on mine and you just kept smiling and looking at me. You knew I was waiting for you too, and you couldn't wait to see me:)
I know there are people out there that have said or will say it was selfish of you to do what you did, but they didn't know you, and they certainly didn't walk in your shoes. So for those who JUDGE just know this, Suicide, killing ones self is not the "easy way out", "painless", "selfish" or even "courageous"!!! The mind is sick and doesn't feel good, or think right, and it doesn't want to hurt anymore from not feeling good. Just as the body doesn't feel good or act right when it is sick, and we don't want to hurt anymore, and people die. Do we dare judge them in their sickness or for their sickness or think, oh how selfish of that person?!!! Weather they want to die because they don't feel good, kill themselves, or eventually succumb to some sort of illness we all want the same thing, to be out of pain. No, we wouldn't treat most people that way. We would have empathy, sympathy, and love for the "SURVIVORS", the family, friends and loved ones, for the one who actually goes on to be with God, For those of you who will read this and have judged, thought or spoken of my Nicholas or anyone else for that matter who has taken their life...it is not your place to judge, you are not God, you have NO RIGHT, and you are ignorant!!! What we as survivors need is love hope and prayer. No matter the age, race, or gender of the person who takes their life, it is not that they were selfish and didn't want to live...It IS they only wanted to pain, the hurt, the anguish to STOP. May God bless you who have judged, gossiped or talked ill fated of those who took their lives and said that person had no appreciation for LIFE or the VALUE of LIFE, because you really don't have a clue. That is not the case, the truth or the thinking that does on in their minds when that became what they thought to be the only way to stop hurting. Nicholas no longer lives a miserable existence, praise the Lord. There is plenty of misery to go around the world...that's for sure, and I'm glad Nick no longer has to or ever will feel miserable again...ever!!!
Nicholas, you my BEAUTIFUL SON had more compassion at your tender age of 25 than I now know most people (full grown adults in their 40's, 50's, 60's ). What the people in the world need is "THE SAVIOR" JESUS CHRIST, not a gazillion ignorant, controlling self- appointed little gods trying to dictate and manipulate others. May they "those who judge, those who think they have the right or power to condemn others, the little gods, the self-centered, NEVER know my pain" or nick's for that matter,(the pain of losing a child), especially to suicide or an innocent baby. I will pray for you who HAVE or ever WILL judge Nicholas for his fatal action on that "unimaginable painful" early morning of Oct 23rd, 2008. Bless your soul baby:( !!!
I don't have to say R.I.P. for I will always know and believe YOU ARE "IN" PEACE, YOU ARE "AT" PEACE, YOU "ARE" PEACE!!!
For you are for all Eternity...forever peaceful, Amen.
I miss you so very much though... because I loved you so very much, and you were my son, and you were my life, my heart my everything for 25 years. I will always miss you and wish you were still here with moma, Lloyd , Greg and Journey, because you were a lovely human being and the most beautiful son to me. I love you....always
I love you more ~moma~
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