Nicholas

Well today son it has been 16 months since you left us. I cannot believe you are gone...still. So much it feels like you are right here with me, and other times it feels like forever that I have seen your face, kisses you and heard your voice.
But I have a very kewl story to share with you Nick.
I was out with a friend of mine and I ran into a girl that looked familiar to me, so I asked what her name was and she said Jennifer. I said didn't you work at a beauty supply place or salon? She said yea, I used to own Caribbean Sun. you know the tanning place on Wellsian Way. She said I don't really remember your younger one's, who I remember is your oldest son. I said Nick, she said yea. He would come through the drive through in his Jeep, and order Vanilla latte's and he would order his moma her favorite drink too. Aweeeee, my heart just melted. I told her you passed away. She had that look on her face!!! You know the one...shock!
Well she was so said to here that and said you were very cute, good-looking and funny:) It was a beautiful memory she shared with me. It was so awesome. So you see Nick even NOW, wherever I go I still get people who remember you, loved you and talk about you. I am so blessed that so many people remember you as a loving fun person. It makes me very proud. You were a handsome man, funny and very loving. I am just so glad so many others saw that in you too:)When I explained briefly what happened with Shelby, and you, you got water in her eyes, so did I, then she asked if she could give me a hug. She was a very sweet girl and very touched by your "LIFE" and sad to here of your passing.
you are remembered son, by so many!!! My heart was blessed last night talking with her. I am so glad she shared her memories of you.
I have another story to share with you that was pretty freaky. It was yesterday afternoon, just before my grief class. i will save it for another time.
I miss you endlessly....
"Time" does not heal all wounds!!! Time is just time, and it is my willingness to grieve, mourn, and choose to heal that God can, will and has come into my life and heart and begin repairing the damage to my heart, mind and soul.
I have some studying to do son for class. I got a bit behind dealing with the fire. However, I did go last night and it felt great to be back with my grief support group. Each week we pick a clay stone from a beautiful purple velvet bag. They have saying's on them, like Awe, Believe, Tenderness, love. I chose Awe twice in a row, then I was gone 2 weeks and your Dad chose for me, one was Transformed, the other was Wisdom!!! Wow, just wow!!! This week I chose and it was the word Delight:) So, my dear beautiful boy, I will choose to Delight in all good things this week. I am blessed in so many ways, and have so very much to be grateful for. One was knowing, loving and having "YOU" as my son.
Kiss and hug Nana's little Angel for me okay honey:)
That's all for now my Beautiful Boy.
I miss you, hugs 3 kisses and all my love to you Nick, Nick.
I love you more ~moma~