continued from yesterday,

I went and got you flowers, skittles, Hershey's 'Hug & kisses" chocolate, and a "Green" Amp to bring to you. I picked up the newspaper on my way there and on the front page it had it big bold letters..."HIS MEMORY LIVES ON"...it took my breath away. It was an article about a state trooper that was shot 10 yrs ago, and they were doing a story on it, and it just happened to be on this day and on the front page.
I know things like this don't mean much to others but ALL of these small things are very significant to me and mean so much. It is God's way of loving me and helping me.
So, just as I go over the railroad tracks to come see you..."Pocket full of sunshine" comes on the radio, my favorite song!!! Another beautiful touch from God.
So I pull up to your Garden and get out of the car. I need scissors to cut the flower stems, I put the rest in Shelby's vase. I go to the car to find them, I realize they may be in truck so I go to pop the handle for the trunk and there next to the button is a penny, awe...another gift, I couldn't help but smile. They weren't in the trunk either all along they were in the car...but I didn't see them, God wanted me to find the penny.
So, I sat with you and drank the amp, and listened to some of my best songs recorded on my cell ph, like Love me when I'm gone, Blurry, Crawling ( a song I remember you blasting)Wonderful, Hear without you...to name a few. Nick, I miss you so much honey. I will never get over this, but I am going on. I didn't think or know I could, but I am. It doesn't minimize my missing you or loving you, and it doesn't erase the pain and the memories of what has happened. It doesn't take away the pain I felt inside for you when your baby girl died son!!!
Melissa called me, your Aunt Kim called me, lots of my friends called and texted. your dad and I texted too. It was a rough day as I shall NEVER ever forget it, but the hidden blessing was revealed. I took you and hugged and kissed you that morning and I am so thankful I got that.
greg texted me from school and asked if I would take him to dream Weaver's, so we went there after school. Journey and Greg made a necklace. I'm gonna bring your Dream catcher in and leave it for display for a couple weeks for others to see. Do you know that I have not had one single dream of you since you been gone...good or bad dream...not a one. I guess it's working. I'm taking it down tonight to take in tomorrow. I guess I've been afraid that I would have nightmares about you, so I haven't ever taken it down.
I MISS YOU......more than one could ever imagine.
I LOVE YOU MORE MY BEAUTIFUL NICHOLAS JAMES ~moma~